Fresh Start

She is everywhere. I don’t know how to get rid of her. It seems so impossible. No one believes me but I know she is there. It started a few months ago. It was a beautiful fall day. The sky was so beautiful and blue almost like the ocean water in the caribbean. The gorgeous orange,red, and yellow leaves fall as the wind blows through them. The sweet smell of freshly cut grass. The ground looked like it was sparkling from the sun hitting the dew. Me and Steven were doing our maternity shoot. I was six months along, it was so exciting since we lost the last one. We are finally starting to enjoy it again. It nearly destroyed us when it happened. I was only four months along last time. Kritanta, a girl I barely knew, stabbed me in the stomach with a pair of scissors. She told me that I didn’t deserve to bring someone else in the world with the state I am in. I never knew what she meant. We moved and decided it was time to try again and have a fresh start. The shoot was so much fun. Getting to play with bubbles, run around and be with the man I love. But when it was time to take a look at the photos, that’s not what I saw. Steven wasn’t even in them and neither was my belly. I only saw Kritanta and it made me feel so terrified. Steven’s face was blurred and I could feel him touching my face and hearing his voice in the distance asking me what was wrong. I finally snapped back in and told him that I just needed to sit down. The photographer grabbed a seat for me and cold water. I looked at the pictures again and I saw me and steven. I don’t know why I saw her in them, I must be really tired. Sherry, our therapist, told me some days might be hard and transition might cause me to think back to her. After a few minutes, I felt normal again and reassured Steven that I was okay. I could tell that he was really worried but he kept his thoughts to himself. We got in the car and he put his hand on mine and asked what happened. I told him everything and he let go of my hand and hit both his hands against the steering wheel. He told me I needed to get over it so angrily. Tears fell down my face and I stayed quiet. He never believed me when I told him about her. We all went out together and he keeps telling me that we didn’t but I remember. When we make it home he apologizes. I just nod and make my way to our room. I lay on the bed and turn facing the wall so he doesn’t see the tears running down my face. He gets in bed and faces the other wall disappointed with himself knowing how he made me feel. I finally fell asleep after a few minutes. The next morning I hear non stop knocking on the door. I tried waking up Steven so he could answer but when I turned to face him, I threw myself off the bed. I held my hand to my mouth in disbelief. There was blood all over his body. I could see the multiple stab wounds all over him. Suddenly I realized there was blood all over my hands and mouth not noticing that it got on me when I tried waking him. The knocking got harder as if the person at the door was losing their patience. I go to the door so I can get help and open it to Kritanta. She smiled and gave me the biggest hug like when you haven't seen your closest friend in years. After, she cleaned the blood off of me and told me he got what he deserved. As soon as those words came off her tongue, I threw her off of me. I asked her why she did this to him and she told me it was for us. That he clearly didn't want to be with me and was a danger to me. I calmed down so she wouldn’t suspect anything, thanked her, and asked her if she wanted tea. I went into the kitchen after she said yes and called the police. I told them about Steven and how the killer was in the house. A few minutes went by and they were knocking on the door, I told her I’d be right back and answered. I let them in and they pulled me to the side asking if I was okay but more importantly if she was in there. I nodded and they went inside and had me wait until they came back out. In a few minutes they came out and said it was all clear. I was in such disbelief , there was no way for her to leave. It was practically impossible. They said the back door was open, she must have heard them. I told them everything, making sure not to leave out any detail. They asked me if I had anyone to stay with just in case the killer came back. I told them I didn’t and they told me that they would have officers outside my house. I took a long hot shower. I couldn’t stop thinking about her being back. It’s been a year, why is she back now? I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to, especially in that bed. I let the officers know that I was going to stay in a hotel. I packed all the things I needed and got in the car. I couldn’t help but let tears pour out of my eyes sitting there at the steering wheel. After a few minutes, I wiped my wet cheeks and started driving into town so I could get something to eat. I decided to go to my favorite cafe. As soon as I stepped inside, everyone was staring. Like if I was looking at one of those paintings that follow you no matter where you are standing. There were whispers coming from some of the women talking about Steven and what happened to him. It felt like the walls were closing in and I couldn't breathe. I fled the cafe so fast and tried to take a breather but my body wanted to take a different route. I found the nearest trash can and vomited in it. I felt someone come close to me and they handed me a towel and some mints. I thanked them and then looked up and noticed it was Kritanta. I felt my body uncontrollably shake with fear. I started to feel really dizzy all of a sudden. I tried walking away but it was getting worse and all I remember is hearing everyone scream, then darkness. I opened my eyes and my vision was blurred, every time I blinked it got more and more clear. I was in the hospital, what happened? Then I look down and I scream. There is no longer the huge bump that I had and when I tried to touch it my hands couldn’t go far. I realized I was cuffed to the bed. I started to scream for help and I thought I heard the nurses coming in but it was one of the officers from this morning. I asked why I was handcuffed to the bed. He sighed, sat down, and grabbed his head as if he had a headache. Finally he asked if I remembered anything about what happened. I told him all I remember was leaving the cafe and getting sick and seeing her again. Also getting dizzy and waking up here. He told me that witnesses saw me on the ground with my stomach cut open and the knife in my hand. I cried and started kicking and screaming, saying no on repeat. I could see the pain in his eyes when he said the baby didn’t make it. They ended up having to sedate me because I couldn’t calm down. I awoke a few hours later and he was sleeping in the chair right beside me. The handcuffs must’ve been taken off while I was sleeping. I pressed my call button so I could get the nurse to bring me some food. I turned on whatever movie was on the television. I needed a distraction from everything. In a day my life has flipped upside down and it is too much for me to bear. I scarfed my food down, I hadn’t eaten all day. I tried calling his name to wake him up but it didn't work. So I threw my pillow at him which I regretted because my stomach started to hurt. He instantly woke and joked about how he can get me cuffed again for assaulting an officer. We talked for hours until the nurses kicked him out and then I got some sleep. It was refreshing to have someone to talk to and get away from all the craziness. I woke up the next morning and got to get discharged. Ryan even brought me a pair of clothes so I didn't have to walk around in a hospital gown all day. He gave me a ride back to the cafe so I could get my car. I thanked him and he left. I went into the cafe and ordered my usual hazelnut iced coffee with a chocolate croissant. Next, I went to the store to get some food for my mini fridge in the hotel room. Lastly, I went back to the room, stocked the fridge and threw myself onto the bed. It felt so nice to be in one after being in the hospital. I fell right to sleep until a few minutes into it I heard a knock on the door. I groaned but then I heard it unlock. I quickly got up and grabbed the lamp right next to me and I sighed with relief when I realized it was Ryan. He started laughing when he saw the lamp in my hand. I told him that he scared me and I didn’t expect him to be here. Then I asked why he was here. He told me they spotted a girl with the description I gave somewhere close to here and wanted to make sure I was safe. It was nice to know someone believed me. I laid back down and fell asleep. I woke up after a few hours and saw Kritanta standing right next to Ryan. She was holding a knife to his throat and said he was never going to let us get away with what we’ve done. Before I could do or say anything she slit his throat. I cried no and grabbed her and threw her to the ground. She hit me in the stomach and ran to the bathroom. I grabbed my stomach and lifted myself up and ran to the bathroom. I grabbed her face and smashed it into the mirror. I felt blood trickling on my forehead where she was. Then she grabbed me and stabbed me in my stomach. I pulled the knife out of my stomach. Then grabbed her from behind, faced her towards the mirror and slit her throat. The knife fell out of my hand and I fell to my knees. She was gone and I lay there with my throat slashed.